I made chocolate chip cookie dough truffles. I didn't even eat any of the chocolate. what is the deal?!
anyway, I still feel sick enouugh after all the chocolate I already ate. the aneversery Chocolate that my dad baught my mom. she didn't want it so us kids have been eating it. ugh. I also licked the can of sweatened condenesed milk that goes into the truffles. that stuff is so good. and so sickening.  ugh. that stuff tastes really good in coffee.
stayed up talking with mom last night I think it was 11:30 before we went to bed.
now i'm listening to adventures in Odyssey. Interesting that the reason we live would be a something worth dying for. :P
baby Jeeeeesssuuuuussss. :)
I do wonder what it was like for Mary though, cause she was probably really young. like, around my age. :P  and Joseph wasn't the father, I wonder how that made him feel.... O_o
anyway.

it's kinda sad to me when mom can't fix something.... not kinda actually. IS sad when she can't. She told me she's sending me to a coucelor because she doesn't know what to do. She can't fix it this time; and maybe by sending me to some one else they'll be able to find out what's really and make me be reall, cause she just doesn't know what's real.
still trying to figure out the whole 'real' thing. cause I know a lot of things are real. when i'm sad or depressed, that is real. don't try and hide that. i wouldn't do very well anyway. hrm. frustration? yup that's real... when i'm happy and loud and sarcastic and stuff? that's the rough. because at that point i'm not normally feeling anything. it's real I guess. just a differant kind of real. cuase sometimes I'm happy sometimes i'm just.... me. O_o oxymoronic don't you think?
real numb. numb is an interesting feeling. I feel tired right now. numb is interesting. it's like nothingness. and you can fill it with happyness, dorkdom or anyother feeling you really want to feel. one of the more interesting feelings. like a no feeling. a viod. vacuem. I've just run out of ways to describe it.
well that's about all I got to write about. cause surprisingly I am tired. why I don't know. probably due to haveing intense conversations last night.
they make me tired.... :P I. am. shutting. down...... I think. not bad. just a  little tired.  at least steved hasn't come back yet. mom and the little bro got sick with some kind of cold. and I hasn't gotten it yet. surpirse, surprise. My cold's name is steve. He comes around often.
got to go. that chocolate isn't feeling pretty right about now.