Merry Christmas

 I haven't been to happy lately.
With everything that has happened in the past few months. Being found to be a cutter, having to do counciling and stuff. With Christmas Upon us we are expected to have the 'christmas spirit'.
the fact that i'm not happy makes me sadder, especially when I'm expected to be happy and makes me question what Christmas means to me and is Christmas worth meaning anything because a lot of people have lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas? Should I conform to every one's expectations and be happy on Christmas time? Is it worth it?
My answer?
Yes, It's worth it. It's the day we celebrate Baby Jesus. I'm sure Satan would be thrilled if I was all depressed and didn't care about Jesus' birthday. I have to Celebrate it. It's ever so much more worth Celebrating and so much easier to have fun when you don't want to let some one else have it. (like my little brother says, "I really don't want to make these cookies but i'm going to so that no one else gets to lick the bowl")
SO now i'm very happy that it's almost Christmas and can honestly have the "Christmas Spirit" and am excited. Very excited.
As a side note I"m also excited to find out what the present is that my brother got cause it's a family gift so no one knows. So my curiosity is piqued. that and mom and dad are worried if the got me the right gift so that just makes me wonder......

:P hope that makes sense to every one. :D