Sunday, January 30, 2011

I enjoy dressing up. always have.
At the moment I am sitting at the computer dressed up. it's all mom's fault she started it.
she pt on the dorky hat.
I just took it further and put on a headbandana type thing and costum shirt and sash and wound some black strips around my hand and wrists.
and narrowed Tyler's pistol. replica of course. a vola. a pirate. actually my version of captain jack. without the eye liner and facial hair.
then mom suggested he was gay.
darn it.
then my little sister started mocking me. I took to talking and acting like jack.
it was fun. any funny to watch I'll bet.
I'm still dressed up. and still dressed up like mostly like a jack wannabe. that's what mom says. my sis says I'm good.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

What would it be like if I never forgot anything? Nothing. Nothing forgotten. Memories would seem as clear as day. Everything I ever did could not be forgotten, I could never live with myself. Or with others. I would never be able to forget any wrongs done to me. I suppose it is good that we forget many things in our life time. Revenge would be rampant or forgiveness abundant.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Yiruma - A River Flows In You

This is a Song I'm learning on the piano right now, I don't even think I'm worthy, it's so beautiful!!!! I'm doing the best I can to learn it all right, all those grace notes can mess you up.

Vanya Sulie!


Note: I do not own this song and I'm not playing it in this video....

Saturday, January 22, 2011

well we did tournament today. I feel pretty good about it. I got second place. which is OK with me.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

hah! it happens invariably. when I get my braces adjusted or some thing painful like that in my mouth we have some thing for dinner that I can't eat. like steak.  or beef stroganof.

'Cat Herders'

This is funny

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I feel worn out. like chocolate pudding over too much ham. or butter over to much bread.
Im not going to judo tonight. so sad.
I'll only have one practice befor this tournament. this is very saddening.
I could just not practice and hopefully be better by the tournament but I don't think it will work that way. I'll probably practice with lane before. but it still wont be enough.
I am saddened. I"ll prabobly compete anyway. even if I don't practice officaily. I left this tournament in God's hands a while ago. he'll decide what I do about this.
come what may.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

I was listening to ben hur the other day. (btw I I have a story about ben hur) and I was struck by the line by Masola (SP?),
"were is the forgiveness your Nazarene was so fond of teaching?"

(don't quote me I don't think that was exact I think he called Jesus something else.)

I've also heard:
one goes in one ear and out the other in the first person his a second right between the eyes.
I got hit right between the eyes with that quote by Masola.
I realized that I have been like Judah. I have been wanting revenge. thinking badly of one person in particular.
this person did things that I didn't like. that was never truly resolved in my opinion. after that she didn't do anything. and that's the point. nothing.
It hurt.
it hurt a lot.
it didn't help any that I we believe differently.
That I was already unaccepted.
for a long time it was ok. I just kept going back. trying to make conversation. trying to be friends.
after a while...
I got tired. I began to, in a way, start needling her. trying to.
the bible says not to grow weary in doing good. to love one another as christ has loved you. that by your fruits you will know them.
I'm differant than the people there. and proud of it. I took what I knew to be differances. and threw them in her face. Not viollantly. but as subtly as I knew how.
I stronger.
I compete.
I work
I ride
I scheme things I know people wont like.

and then, that quote..."were is the forgivnes..."
I want to forgive that person. I beleive I have tryed and am succeding. but I'm afraid. what will happen if I let her be my good friend.
even though we may have forgiven each other the pain doesn't always go away
I'm sorry, would you forgive me.

Friday, January 14, 2011

right so I said I would write about last night and here we go.
I wasn't even supposed to be at judo last night but I was. because I'm not supposed to stay home alone at night. (you never know what might happen? some weirdo could try and brake in.)my Dad was at some meeting.
so I was there. and Josh was there.
you know on a normal night watching judo without being able to do it is a very pure form of torture.
when Josh is around it goes both ways. I wanted to be out there learning with the rest of the guys but I was also not allowed to yesterday and I wanted to watch anyway. laugh at every one else. hahha
so any way I was watching after he had had every one bow in and asked "no gi?"
I wasn't wereing my Gi. I wasn't doing judo why would I? "no gi."
so we bantered. about having a note from my mom who was keeping me out.
he also told me the same thing my mom tells me. take 1000 mg vitamin C. bleh. (that stuff tasts awful depending on what kind of stuff you get. it really does. doesn't help that they're citris flavored most of the time.)
Note: even though I was sitting out I still got some judo in. I got to paly around with another judoka who was sitting out. that was fun. it's always fun to fight little kids. (he was six)
when my little friend and I weren't rolling around on the matts we were sitting on the sidelines watching the class. (or with steph).
he started teasing me and steph that we were braking his stopwatch/timer/thing. even though we weren't touching it. he was the one throwing it around. lol.
he recruted some random kid to be the time keeper and kept calling him girl names like angelica or angelina stuff like that. though I did end up as time keeper.
he had every one line up against the wall and asked some poor little student, "painful or more painful?"
not suprisinly, small child said painful. a commmon  chioce. he knew plenty of painful positions. I told hime being under him was a painful position. I learned he knows plenty of painful postitions that made him chukle.
speaking of painful postitions two of the younger girls got hurt. one of them tried to smack her partner with her eye. not a good idea if you wan to keep your eyes pain free. and the other one. IDK how she got hurt. I just took her to her dad.
my bro didn't get to be in the majority of the class. he got spaired the pain. at least it looked painful. not quite sure. I was watching.
I also ended up taking pics of the class after it was over.
I have to go my computer is being kinda slow...
so I went and watched the judo class yesterday. I wasn't allowed to participate. I wasn't even supposed to be there. I'll write about it later.
Sensie Josh was back from the Olympic training center so even though I couldn't do judo I had a lot of fun talking to him and watching the class under him.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

so yesterday was good. I wasn't feeling well by the end of the day but it was good.
my friend is in the guard and he took my brother and I around the base got to see  allot of cool stuff.
at the end the grand finale was trying the flight simulators.
we had the option of motion or no motion. we chose no motion and to fly to Hawaii. so I got to
"fly" the plane in touch and go. I did ok but then I got kinda sick when my brother and dad flew. in your mind you know you're stationary but your body doesn't. blah it was fun though.
but then I tried to do judo. but the warm up wasn't the one we normally do. I knew it wouldn't. Josh is back from the olympic training center.
i might have been able to do it on a normal night I don't know. I might not have. ether way I dropped out of practice in the first ten minutes.
Ive had a cough for a long time and I just didn't have it in me to do it.
I want to get better. I want to fight in this tournament.
but i"m really afraid I won't be able to.
and as a side not. I like the sound of fifteen. it's a nice triangled number. but it really doesn't feel any differant than fourteen.
going to try and get my hands on "one night with the king" good move that is.
well, see ya all around.

Monday, January 3, 2011

happy new year! oh, wait I said that already.
we have been watching star wars. my fav. is the first one. the phantom menace.
my bird died of egg binding I believe.
my dad bought me a new one. it's name is jink.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

foot prints in the sand

"One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson