Saturday, May 19, 2012

alright, alright, I have no excuse for not writing this time. So I'm writing. writing, writing, writing. About something I've been learning lately, and that is this:
Do not judge a book by it's cover. The biggest smile and the funnest goof off might have more to their story than you would ever know until you tried to get to know them.
That has really hit home lately. first off when I was friended on facebook by a girl that I had been pretty darn mad at at the judo tournaments. Some of us didn't like her, but some of us didn't take the time to get acquainted with her story. I still only know bits and peaces, but I know that she is a girl who was hurt and confused.
the girl I respected as a good fighter but I thought just liked to goof off? there's more to her than meets the eyes too. I never would have known if I hadn't wanted to get to know her a little bit better. I wouldn't have known that, even though I astound her sometimes (cause she's just a little more... well, I'm a lot more naive than she) she's really cool to hang out with.
that saying "you know my name, but you don't know my story," is sticking with me right now.
it's kinda frustrating though, I sometimes listen to people's stories or just see them hurt and want to help, but sometimes, I'm not close enough to them to help, or they won't let me close enough. That's what hurts the most, not being aloud to get close to some one to come along side them. I see pain in my friends and I want to help them.
It does sometimes frustrate me.
I try not to get angry at God, or blame him for the problems that I got myself into, or what i'm going through, but sometimes I can't help but shake my fist and question God about the pain in the world. Wondering why he let's things happen to people. I have to remember that we live in a fallen world and that God is a just God, but what about the kids on the sidelines watching who have to grow up so much faster and so much harder than the rest of us?
It hurts to watch that. It really does, but I know that there is a time and a place for words and also a time for silence. I don't have to try to step in or even say anything the first time some one tells you their story. No matter how much it hurts me to see it.

Friday, May 4, 2012

this year I felt really sorry for one of the staffers. he had that glazed look on his face that I get when there's people at our house and I would really rather be left alone.
Today is the last day of teenpact week here in my state, it's the communication workshop or something like that.Neither Josh or I are going, the bro is going over to see his friends and I am going to physical therepy and then helping mom get the food ready for the fashion show tomarrow. :D
This week was kinda bittersweet to me. I was there at the class but not in it and so many times I wanted to just jump in and say something or discuss an issue and I couldn't. So I had a lot of time to goof off. More than normal. So in a way I kinda dissapointed myself by not always acting my age.
By not participating in the class I was able to help out in the kitchen some with food and clean up.
all in all it has been an interesting week, but the week's not over yet.
oh, I also met another OYANer. :P definately interesting.