Tuesday, May 28, 2013


I need to talk to priscilla sometime soon. :P
we haven't talked in forever...

Saturday, May 18, 2013


it's snowing here, right now.
it's very very sad.
winter is supposed to be gone by now, but instead there is more snow...
always winter and never Christmas.
it's very sad. and cold. and sad.
did I mention it was sad?
go home winter, you're drunk.
a dejected spring

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


as it turns out,
the state judo tournament is this Saturday.
long day.
not really looking forward to it.
I shall bring my cell phone.
and the charger.

Friday, May 10, 2013

last night

My therepist had tally marks on his hands.
Made my evening amazing even though they probably had not connection with doctor who for him.
it was about as awesome as finding graffiti in a bathroom that said "don't blink."

Colossians 2:10

10 and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power.

That is one of the verses that really stuck out to me last night in my Bible study.
Because i'm seventeen years old and have always been single. It also doesn't look like that is about to change anytime soon.
And you know what?
That is really hard.
Actually, it downright sucks.
Three of my friends are engaged (one is going to be married in a couple days) and others have boyfriends.
Sometimes it's just like, "uh, God? have you forgotten me here? because i'm kinda really lonely and i'm feeling rather forgotten.... My friends have fiances and boy friends and i'm here like, Hey, what about me?"
And you know what?
those are some of the nights I feel closest to God. That's the way it has always been. When Dad was in the military I was often lonely, for similar reasons.
I've learned that loneliness is God's call to spend time with him. I remember when I was probably seven years old, I was lonely, and I remembered the verse in Hebrews that says "For he himself has said 'I will never leave you, nor forsake you.'"
Now, i'm being reminded that not only will he never leave me, but I'm complete in him. 
Usually after i've cried my heart out I end up staring at the ceiling above my bed and remembering several other things.
He knows what's best for me, and in his timing, all my longing will be fulfilled, and it will all be worth it. 
Secondly, I'm not everyone else. For the next two years I will be busy, and while I may enter into a relationship during that time, i'm not ready to be married. Not till I finish school.
and, I really don't see anybody up here that I know of, that I could see myself with. Right now, I don't feel a particular call that says "your man is here and this is where you are gonna be for a long while." 
and finally, while I'm waiting, I'm complete in him. No matter how long it takes for my desires to come true, I'm complete, and whoever God brings into my life, is an extra blessing. A very, very special blessing to fill that longing, but God
That's a comfort to me. 
Most of the time.
It still hurts sometimes.

Sunday, May 5, 2013


Usually I like it.
today it's hurting my stomach.
I need to get ready for church here soon.

Saturday, May 4, 2013


I went to prom last night.
it was scary. At first.
Until my friend Jonnie came over, declared that I was being and introvert at prom and that was wrong, and dragged me out onto the dance floor, where I stood like an idiot until he wasn't looking. Then I slipped back to my place.
Until my friend Arianne go there.
Then she dragged me out too, and I stood there, like an idiot who cant dance. Until I started dancing, after which she promptly told me I could dance and shoved me out into the dance battle.
That was kinda fun. cause at the end of that there was only two of us left.
It was a lot of fun.
more fun than I expected, since to me prom is like a writhing mass of hormonal teenage bodies who didn't wear enough D.O. that reaked.